Wednesday 7 June 2023

Worst Ever School Trip - Barry Hutchison - Beaky Malone Book 2

Worst Ever School Trip
Beaky Malone Book 2
ISBN 9781847157751
eIBSN 9781847158437

Last year before reading this I encountered the works of J.D. Kirk I also discovered that Kirk publishes children’s books as Barry Hutchison, and other adult fiction as Barry J. Hutchison. I have read 21 stories published under the Kirk Name and am now branching out to the ones under the Hutchinson names, this is the 15th under that name. He has written over 200 books across the three pen names, and many unattributed. If I had known that or I might not have picked up this first one. But I am very thankful I did. Friends call me a ‘completionist’ in that when I find an author I like, I try to read everything they have published. I have enjoyed all I have read from his pen and this one was no different.

The description of this story is:

“"I'm in love with the dinner lady..." Gah! Someone shut me up! Beaky's survival skills are about to be tested to the limit. After a mix-up in the school office, Beaky's class are on a trip to Learning Land - a rubbish theme park - and Beaky is partnered with Wayne pretend-to-be-nice-but-actually-I'm-a-violent-psychopath Lawson. With Beaky unable to tell a lie and Wayne intent on beating him up, things aren't looking good. And that's before they find themselves on the run from the theme park's mascot, a creepy clown who'll seemingly stop at nothing to track them down...”

Another description is:

“A hilarious new series from best-selling author, Barry Hutchison, perfect for fans of Tom Gates, Wimpy Kid and Barry Loser.

“I like to smell my own farts…” Gah! Someone shut me up!

It’s been 92 hours since Beaky last told a lie. So far he’s survived two full days of school with only three light beatings, two telling-offs and one wedgie ... but the annual school trip is going to take Beaky’s survival skills to a whole other level – especially as a mix up in the school office means that Beaky and his class are on a trip to Learning Land, a rubbish theme park aimed at eight-year-olds. And home to cheery-but-creepy Clumso the Clued-up Clown whose job is to dish out fascinating facts to one and all.

But there is worse to come when Beaky’s partnered with Wayne, a.k.a the school bully, who has a morbid fear of clowns. With Beaky unable to tell a lie and Wayne intent on beating him up, things aren’t looking good. And that’s before they find themselves on the run from a manic clown who’ll seemingly stop at nothing to track them down…”

This story is an early chapter book. Or middle grade read. It is in a series that currently has four titles:

The World's Greatest Liar
Worst Ever School Trip
Super Creepy Camp 2017
Weirdest Show on Earth

It appears that some of the four are also available in French and German. It is an interesting story. I felt that the first story in this series started a little slow. That was not the case this time. This one is nearly non-stop action. Most of this story takes place at a theme park called “Learning Land” and it is about as much fun as trying to combine education and an amusement park as you would imagine. With features like Grammar Granny, Sumo Sums Slam, Rollercoaster of Sums, Maze of Maths, Circle of Squares and more. Somples of the humour in this story is:

“Luckily I sit next to Theo in most of my classes. Theo knows all about my lack of lying ability and is great at helping me cover it up – even though I’ve accidentally announced pretty much every secret he’s ever told me, including the one about him being born with six nipples, four of which had to be surgically removed when he was two.
Especially that one, in fact.

Anyway, like I was saying, it was Wednesday morning. Theo and I made it to the next lesson and I forced my mouth to stay shut as we took our seats.”


“Some of the rest of the class sniggered at that but I was being serious. Destructo was a Great Dane with an even greater appetite. He ate more food in a day than the rest of the family got through in a week, but he was always scavenging for anything else he could gobble up. That included my homework, my pencils and, on one memorable occasion, my school bag.

“And what about your permission slip for the school trip?” Mrs Dodds asked, arching one of her grey eyebrows. “I suppose the dog ate that, too?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “My sister stuffed it into my mouth when I posted a picture of her toes on Instagram.”

The teacher just stared at me in silence.

“She’s got really hairy toes,” I explained. “Like a troll.””

After Beaky was forced to tell the truth, the whole, truth, and nothing but the truth things went from bad to worse. But there is hope in that his sister has found online records of the Madame Shirley’s Marvellous Emporium of Peculiarities, the bad news is they are all over the world. Always look the same, and appear empty and abandoned at some point. Not they just need to find her. Then comes the now infamous school trip. The day at Learning Land has the promise of being Beaky’s worst day ever. And that is saying a lot. Paired with the Head Masters, the principal’s son, and the school’s worst bully he is in for it. But things are not always as they appear. And they day provides several surprises, twists, and more. 

This book marks the 36th offering from Hutchison I have read in the last year, under the three names he publishes under. They have all been entertaining reads. Some have been excellent. This story was an entertaining read, but with the ending it will leave you desperate for the next instalment. It is a good book and series especially for younger readers and even reluctant readers. I can see school children loving these books and laughing out loud time and time again. It is a good read from the pen of Barry Hutchison, aka Barry J. Hutchinson aka J.D. Kirk   

Books by J.D. Kirk:

DCI Logan Series:

Robert Hoon Thrillers:

DI Heather Filson Series:

Contributed to:
Everyday Kindness: A Collection of Uplifting Tales to Brighten Your Day

Books as Barry J. Hutchison:
Dan Deadman Space Detective Series:

Space Team Series:
The Search for Splurt 
Song of the Space Siren 
The Guns of Nana Joan 
Return of the Dead Guy 
Planet of the Japes 
The Time Titan of Tomorrow 
The King of Space Must Die 
Sting of the Mustard Mines 
Sentienced to Death
The Hunt for Reduk Topa
A Lot of Weird Space Shizz: Collected Short Stories

Sidekicks Initiative Series:

The Bug Books Series:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Complete Season One

Other Books:

Children’s books as Barry Hutchison:
Invisible Fiends Series:
The Crowmaster 
Doc Mortis 
The Beast 
The Darkest Corners 

The Missing Remote of the Apocalypse
The Book of Doom 

Benjamin Blank Series:

Beaky Malone Series:

Generator Rex Series:

Living Ted Series:
Revenge of the Living Ted
Invasion of the Living Ted

Spectre Collectors Series:
Too Ghoul for School
A New York Nightmare!

Other works:

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