Saturday, 8 April 2023

Sad Puppies Bite Back - Declan Finn - A Parody

Sad Puppies Bite Back
A Parody
ISBN 9781534946026

I have read 35 books by Declan Finn and 34 of them in the last 10 months. I have greatly enjoyed books in several other series. This one is sort of linked to the Convention Kills series which is comprised of: It Was Only On Stun! And Set To Kill which were both hilarious. This one takes the humour to a whole new level. But it is also very different. This was published in 2016, and is available in print, eBook, and as an audio book. I am working through Finn’s back catalogue, as I await the reprint of the Honor at Stake and Pius Man series to be back in print. The first in this series was a surprising story, I had not read any description or reviews before picking it up, and this second part of the story amped up the action. The description of this story is:

“Meet the Evil Legion of Evil: Evil Yet Beautiful Space Princesses, International Lords of Hate, one brain in a jar, and the Supreme Dark Lord himself, super-nerd Vox Day

Who would dare attack these frightful folk? The brave men and women of the Puppy Kickers. Safely entrenched in their safe zones, they lash out the only way they can: through proxies, slander, and calling out SWAT teams.

Will the Puppies be SWATted once and for all? Or will the Puppy Kickers learn that these puppies bite back?”

This volume is a series of vignettes, stories, puns, and it is a giant parody. Finn states at the beginning of the Introduction:

“This is one of those fever dream moments. You know, that bit where you don't know where the ideas came from, or what you were thinking, or even why it happened in your head at all? It's sort of like how I wrote some of my other novels (for those of you who've read my others works, I'm thinking of It Was Only on Stun!).

In his books, Love in the Ruins, Walker Percy wrote that anyone not on the left tended to adopt insults as a battle cry. I think he was referring to something Barry Goldwater did. Anyway, that tradition really has continued, with politicians adopting nicknames that are basically a reductio ad absurdum of every insult ever thrown at them.
That's why, if you look down the list of Sad Puppy backers, you have "Sarah Hoyt, Evil Yet Beautiful Space Princess" (Yes, as a proper name). Author Larry Correia adopted the moniker of the International Lord of Hate. Brad Torgersen has a few, including the Cuddly Care Bear of Doom … or something like that.
To be honest, I have no idea how many were self-named, and how many just sort of ... happened (and how many originated with John C. Wright having fun). I'm not that close with them. I'm "friends" with Brad and Larry on Facebook, and we all know what that's worth. Sarah Hoyt's nickname is especially hilarious since she's about as Evil as, well, a puppy. A real puppy, not a sad puppy... oh, you know what I mean. Sarah's downright pleasant and nice, and will even talk to losers like me. And Cedar Sanderson ... Sarah and Cedar talk to me. So you now know the extent of our relationship.
Anyway, at the start of 2015, I tripped over a funny piece by Vox Day, which basically boiled down to "The monthly staff meeting of the Evil League of Evil" (in the Lair of the Puppies).
For some reason, ever since I heard about death threats on the Puppies, (seriously, death threats) I wondered when Larry Correia or Brad would be SWATted,
Then, all I could think was, well, what would happen?”

The pieces originally started as blog posts. And Readers wanted more, and more and more. I picture the Lorax movie her with the biggering and biggering and biggering. And the stories kept getting further and further out there, and with each new piece the story was more fun. The 52 pieces in the volume are:

SWATting the Puppies
Sarah Hoyt, Evil Yet Beautiful Space Princess
TOM “His Tankness” KNIGHTON
The Puppy Kickers Location: Top Secret Safe Zone
Putting Down the Puppies
Introduction to Minions of the Puppy Kickers.
Minions of the Puppy Kickers TOR OFFICES, NEW YORK CITY
Michael Z. “Mad Mike” Williamson
SWATting the Wrong Puppies MARGOT ST. AUBIN Indiana
X Marks the Spot
GK “Elf Mistress” Masterson
Cedar “The Busty Redhead"” Sanderson
Puppies with Teeth Introduction
Peter “Renaissance Man” Grant Dorothy “Earhart” Grant
RK “Shadowdancer"” Modena
Brad “Music Man” Johnson
Jim “The Wizard” Butcher
Andrew Marston of Marshfield AKA: Clamps, AKA Alauda AKA Yamamanama
Passion of the Puppy Kicker Logan County, West Virginia
Back in Australia
A WorldCon Carol First Spirit
The Spaying SeasonTop Secret Safe Zone
The Puppies of WorldCon William "The Morrigan" Lehman
James "Shrapnel" Schardt
Kate Paulk, The Impaler
John C. Wright "The Brain"
Penny "“Kitteh Dragon” Redford
Jonathan "Gunny Mormon" La Force Logan, Utah
Meanwhile, over in Iraq.
Bite Harder
2016Sad Puppies 4
A Puppy Wins a Hugo
Moira "Modred" Greyland
Introduction to: Tingling Sensation
Doctor Chuck TingleNew York City: The Village
Hell is SWATting Other People Introduction

A sample piece:

Cedar “The Busty Redhead” Sanderson
[SWAT team pulls up to nice quiet little house. SWAT team charges at the door. They charge in.]
[A man in full medieval knight's armor crashes into them while carrying a hand-and-a-half sword in one hand, and a morning star in the other. The knight sits up and raises visor. It is Sanford Begley] Can I help you people?
[SWAT leader] We heard reports of gunfire?
[Sanford] Oh, that may be Cedar. Follow me.
[Cedar Sanderson is in the kitchen, baking up a storm, wearing an apron that says "Fried Liberals anyone?" SWAT stares, stunned. Also red haired.  She turns and smiles, beaming, and blinding them like a flash-bang] Awesome! I need more taste testers. And maybe you can tell me why I've been blocked lately...
[SWAT team leaves house, waddling away. Their body armor stretches everywhere. Cedar is at the door, taking off a new apron, that reads: Kiss the Cook (I won't yell Rape)] Thanks guys. Not blocked anymore! Come back anytime. I have three new recipes to try out, including Dwarf Bread by Rich Evans!
[LOUD RUMBLING NOISES on approach. Ground shakes. Noise like thunder rattles trees and windows. The TARDIS-blue M1A2 Abrams tries braking. The tank sideswipes the SWAT team, sending them all bouncing away like rubber balls]
[Tom Knighton looks out from the tank] Hey Cedar, I got more supplies for you. Including the tears of John Scalzi and unicorn steaks left over from when Larry made that blanket for his bed.
[CS] AWESOME! Come with me Tom! To the kitchen!
[Knighton looks at his waistline, then at the diameter of the tank hatch] Thank God this is a TARDIS model. I need to fit back in here.”

Several of the authors and personalities mentioned I am aware of. A few I have read. Several others are now on my radar thanks to this volume. This is such a great collection of pieces. I can easily recommend it!  

Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2023 Catholic Reading Plan

Books by Declan Finn:
Love At First Bite Series:

The Last Survivors Series:

Convention Killings Series:

Pius Series:
A Pius Legacy
A Pius Stand
Pius History
Pius Tales (Anthology)
Pius Trilogy Short Stories:

St. Tommy Series:

Top Secret Service Series:
Too Secret Service: Omnibus Edition

Dances with Werewolves Series:
Dances with Werewolves: Omnibus Edition

White Ops Series:

Other books:

Anthologies contributed to:
Astounding Frontiers 1
Storming Area 51 - Bayonet Books Anthology Book 2
Pluto: Planetary Anhtology Series Book 1
Luna: Planetary Anhtology Series Book 2
Supernatural Streets
Starflight: Tales From The Starport Lounge
Mercury: Planetary Anthology Series Book 4
Venus: Planetary Anthology Series Book 5
Mars: Planetary Anthology Series Book 7
Places Beyond the Wild: A Z-Day Anthology
Shoot the Devil: Ten Tales of Humans Defeating the Demonic
Fire for Effect - Bayonet Books Anthology Book 7
Fantastic Schools, Volume 6

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